I began this project looking at gentrification in the literal sense and researched into independent shops since my Dadha, my Indian grandfather, has had three in his life-time. I soon realised how linked gentrification and my heritage were and with the help of my radio project being about my Dadha too, my project veered toward my mixed Indian and English heritage.

I have often been confused by my mix of heritages and races. It’s something I didn’t really talk about but the idea of it consumed me sometimes. I disliked how light my skin was compared to my family and at moments I didn’t feel a part of them. I didn’t like how racially ambiguous I was and how people may not know that I am Brown and a person of colour. As I explored this project, through interviews and research, I realised there were many people out there who felt the same way as me and I felt the need to reach out to such people. I came up with the idea of a community of fellow confused mixed-heritage people. I knew that I would feel comforted knowing others felt how I did and I hoped they would too – comfort in our confusion.

I began more interviews and reaching out to old friends, family and strangers. I wanted a more physical way for us all to be brought together, so I asked everyone to bring in an object to their interview that symbolised their heritage – just like my Tupperware box did for me.

After some amazing conversations and connections with these people, I created a film using the interviews and a poster and series of photographs using the objects.

I’d like to thank every member of the confused community for their commitment, vulnerability and openness with me and I hope these pieces can be a reminder for you to know you are not alone and a welcoming for any new members to our confusion.

Maya, Chetan, Sofia, Isabella, Holly, Eleni, Talula, Jesse, Abi, Anya, Tom, Jaya, Miranda, Leo, Lucia, Georgia – thank you!

My journey of exploring what confuses me about being mixed-heritage through sound, workshop and film and how I began creating a community of people who thought the same as me.