bigbadlulu invites you to come back to every girly sleepover you ever had, take a seat, cosy up, flick thru all your favourite movies, pretend you’re not half gay and let’s talk hot guys on the wall before we post our new fanfiction chapter to tumblr later.

growing up is scary, because all death is scary. but for young women, pubertys end spells a new onslaught of terror, in the form of wifery, motherhood, sagging sexuality, and unattainable freedoms.

there is always a greater woman to aspire to be.

which begs the age old question of feminine infatuation:

do i want to be her, or do i want to be with her?

you can litter my walls, my television, my books, my internet, my films, my life with boyfriendish men to swoon over and i will.

but i would only worship a woman. 

when i was 14, i wrote a 200,000 word fanfiction about being in a love triangle with harry styles and andrew garfield’s spider-man. i’ve never stopped being a horny fangirl since, a proud one at that, and this part of my identity informs all of my work.